Tea Time is a space to sit next to a few poems with a common theme/form/idea and join in the conversation between them. As I continue writing gathering posts, I want to experiment with new forms and new ways to interact with poems. With that in mind, I ask you to imagine these two poems sipping jasmine and oolong at a table in a small cafe. “First Memory” by Louise Glück and “My Papa’s Waltz” by Theodore Roethke are waiting for you. Come gather.
First Memory
by Louise Glück
Long ago, I was wounded. I lived To revenge myself Against my father, not For what he was– For what I was: from the beginning of time, In childhood, I thought That pain meant I was not loved. It meant I loved.
My Papa’s Waltz
by Theodore Roethke
The whiskey on your breath Could make a small boy dizzy; But I hung on like death: Such waltzing was not easy. We romped until the pans Slid from the kitchen shelf; My mother’s countenance Could not unfrown itself. The hand that held my wrist Was battered on one knuckle; At every step you missed My right ear scraped a buckle. You beat time on my head With a palm caked hard by dirt, Then waltzed me off to bed Still clinging to your shirt.
In these two poems, Glück and Roethke describe the relationship between the narrator and their father through the lens of memory. Glück establishes this in the title “First Memory” and again in the first line of her poem:
Long ago, I was wounded. I lived
Despite the pain she endured as a child, she reassures herself (or the reader) that she has come a long way from that time in her life. Roethke takes a different approach. He puts himself in the mindset of the child he once was. The first stanza paints the picture of an evening waltz between father and son; the father is drunk, and the boy is hanging on to his shirt attempting to keep up with the steps of the waltz.
Roethke writes like a child in this poem. There is a clear rhyme scheme that only uses exact rhymes (no slant rhymes). Each stanza is 4 lines and a few syllables–they look like neat boxes. Glück takes a different approach, opting for a free verse poem with language that demonstrates her maturity. She writes: I lived / To revenge myself / Against my father, not / For what he was— / For what I was.”
By distancing herself from the memory through a mature perspective, Glück’s poem leads to a takeaway about her childhood–she loved, but she did not receive that love back. And a quick note here: the first line ends with “I lived” and the last line ends with “I loved” and I love that these two simple phrases bracket the journey of the poem.
Roethke’s language is simple, but also descriptive. Intentional wording creates a vivid sense of image and tone, specifically words like: “romped,” “battered,” “scraped,” and “beat.” It’s subtle, but there’s a violence expressed through language accessible to a child. Even though on the surface Roethke seems to describe a sweet kitchen waltz, his choice of words creates tension. His father is drunk and spinning around; the narrator’s mother is frowning; the father’s hand is caked in dirt. We may never know the story behind what we see, or what hides in the white space between stanzas.
What I do see in both of these poems is the capacity for both narrators to love. Glück’s love drove her to pain and eventually, hopefully, healing. Roethke’s love allowed the narrator to look back on a bittersweet memory and recall every small detail of a waltz in the kitchen one night. Both of these poems give the reader a small slice of humanity, a warm sip of tea while discussing memories, both good and bad. Both of these poems remind me to reflect, to be present, to heal moving forward however heavy the past I carry with me.
In finishing up and editing this piece, I asked Maya what I missed. She wrote to me that both poems deal with paradoxical love—love mixed with strain or tension. Glück speaks directly to the object of her love, writing in a more straightforward manner. Roethke instead illustrates a scene that exemplifies his experience loving his father. Both are effective and heartbreaking—they leave you wanting more, but all we have are the words the poet chose to put on the page.
I hope you have enjoyed this first tea time and thank you for gathering, as always. As 2023 comes to a close, I hope you take some time to reflect on this year and write down some memories. You never know what you’ll want to come back to.
If you enjoyed these two poems… you can read more from Louise Glück and Theodore Roethke here.
If you are looking for something new to read… Spotify premium now features audiobooks (up to 15 hours a month). Peruse! Here is one of my favorites.
If you want to try writing poetry… choose a memory that you remember vividly and try writing about it. Use some of the techniques you saw Glück and Roethke use in their poems (rhyming, illustrative vs. straightforward language).